Separation Anxiety

“Should I date someone who is separated?”

John Powers
John Powers

You meet a girl. She is gorgeous. She is friendly. She has huge boobs. She tells you she’s separated. Get away. Run away. Move very quickly to someplace where she is not. Do not give her your number. Do not get involved at all. Find another place to do karaoke as soon as possible.

If you’re looking for something new… why start with something old? If this person is married but not interested in their spouse, then chances are they are not yet over that relationship. I’m not nececelery (that’s right… celery) saying they are damaged goods. There are lots of people who marry the wrong person and need to get out of a marriage. They just need a half-hour to digest before they jump in the pool again. Once the divorce is final and the leaves have fallen a couple times it’s alright to date them. If the divorce papers have not yet been signed then it is not over. One of the two people involved is not ready or willing to move on. Getting involved with someone who is still involved with someone else is a bad idea for everyone involved.

This is a lose-lose situation. The only thing that could come out of it is the release of repressed sexual energy that this person has been holding back from their partner for months (or years). ‘…but they want to have sex,’ you say. That’s great. Sex is always fun. It will be a great 3 months but then you will get phone calls from a number you don’t recognize and see a strange black sedan everywhere you go. It’s not worth it. You are getting between two people who have agreed to spend the rest of their lives together. If one of them feels like breaking a sacred vow… that’s their decision. It is not up to you to come between these two people. Also, if this person is willing to walk away from this marriage they are 78% more likely to walk away from their next marriage. It’s a vicious cycle. Getting involved with someone who has strayed is as close as you can get to a guarantee that they will eventually get bored of you and follow their impulses with the next person they are attracted to. If “till death do you part,” means, “till I get bored of their bullshit and find someone else,” then it might be sensible to question this person’s morality.

I haven’t even gotten to the karma points you will be losing. How would you like to be the guy whose woman is getting attention from a younger guy you can’t possibly compete with? It’s fun when you’re the guy she’s flirting with… but then one day you’re the guy she’s married to and not the guy she’s flirting with! Find someone with no strings. Find someone who is emotionally and … literally… available to spend your time with. Build something new without walking amongst the ruins of a failed marriage. Leave Machu Picchu to a sucker who didn’t read this article.

– John Powers


2 thoughts on “Separation Anxiety”

  1. I dated a guy who was going through a divorce once. At the last minute he got back with his wife. She started calling me and threatening me. You guys are so right about everything.

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