Dealbreakers are what I lovingly refer to as “reasons to immediately terminate a potential relationship.” Many people have a baseball-like “three strikes and you’re out” policy they use to determine if someone is worth dating. Cancel a date… strike one. Tell a white lie… strike two. Show up late without a text or a good reason… strike three. You’re out. Some things bother us so much that it only takes one strike. You are out. That’s all. No argument or excuse will be good enough.
We are all interesting and unique snowflakes and there are things that we can and cannot tolerate in a potential partner. It is important to know what these are for you before you attempt to find your someone. What are unacceptable behaviors that you know you cannot deal with? Decide what type of person you are. If you prefer a clean living space you may not want to be with a messy person. If you are the financially frugal type it may not work out with a spending spree personality. If you like the city you should probably not settle with someone who enjoys the wilderness. Anything can be a reason to question compatibility but not everything is a dealbreaker.
A buddy of mine is a huge Yankees fan. He knows that it’s a dealbreaker for him if a girl is a Red Sox fan. If you’re not into sports you might dismiss an athlete. If you are someone who does not do drugs you might consider recreational use a dealbreaker. Most people who don’t smoke consider smoking a dealbreaker. Some smokers consider dating a non-smoker a dealbreaker. A buddy of mine knows he cannot date a woman who already has a child. He knows that’s more baggage than he’s willing to carry.
There are several universal red flags that should be dealbreakers to all of us. A history of violence or abuse toward loved ones is a dealbreaker. Cheating is similar. There is no ‘on’ or ‘off’ switch that decides if you should cheat. The same goes for lying. If the stories this person tells are contradicted by other people in the story you may have a liar on your hands. People are rarely able to reform these type of behaviors. It is also probably not worth getting involved with someone with an active chemical addiction. Most universal dealbreakers come down to morality. Does this person I am seeing have good morals? If the answer is yes… go ahead. If the answer is no… that’s a dealbreaker. Do not convince yourself they screwed up once and won’t do it again. Do not tell yourself you can change them.
This could be its own article but my dealbreakers were always women with annoying voices… not laughing at my jokes… not respecting your body or taking good care of yourself… woman with no drive or ambition… bad credit scores… and last but certainly not least are women who do not love and respect their family.
Be careful who you get involved with. You are also getting involved with everything they are involved with. If you spot a dealbreaker run the other way no matter how attracted to this person you are.
– John Powers