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Can Yankees Fans Date Red Sox Fans?!

John Powers
John Powers

A follower of mine on twitter posed the question, “If I’m a Yanks fan, can I date a Sox fan?”

If you are a Yankees fan, you probably can’t date anyone who isn’t also a Yankees fan.

You are used to winning. You expect things to go your way all the time. If your team falls short of winning the World Series, the entire season becomes meaningless to you. You’re into money… greed… buying whatever you need to feel complete. It has nothing to do with sportsmanship, being a Yankees fan is about winning at all costs.

The problem with dating a Red Sox fan is that you’re natural nemesii… but you already knew that. It would be like a cat dating a bird. Can a smile and some witty banter compensate? Can your love for each other overcome your hatred of each others’ teams? Can you share enough common interests that it wouldn’t bother you? Maybe, but there is a lot stacked against you. It might make for good sex and heated debates about baseball history, but your sense of entitlement will surely butt heads with her unjustified arrogance.

Actually, you probably can’t date a Yankees fan either. She would be just as spoiled and obnoxious as yourself, and you probably wouldn’t want to deal with all that… it gets annoying. You would sometimes not get your way, and that would be intolerable. The only upside is that you could buy tacky car decals in bulk and get a discount…

You could try dating a Mets fan. They’re used to disappointment, so the bar would be set very low. She wouldn’t care if you were not as big or talented as other men. A Mets fan wouldn’t mind if you nearly went all the way and then suddenly forgot how to swing a bat. You could let her down year after year but she won’t jump ship.

My best advice for you is to stay out of the American League.

Baseball aside, maybe you can try dating a Patriots fan. You’d have a lot in common. They’re also front-runners who will only wear the team colors when they’re doing well. They also feel that winning is the most important thing (even more so than ethics like murder and spying on other teams). If you aren’t a big football fan, and she’s not a big baseball fan, that just might work.

The only other option for you is to ditch the Yankees. They are only holding you back. There’s more to life than sports, and a team winning or losing has no actual impact on your health or happiness. They are not paying your rent and they don’t care how often you score.

Date a Red Sox fan… just relax a little.

– John Powers

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