Evidently, the cool new thing for girls to do is bedazzle their pubic region. That right. It’s called Vajazzling and all the cool kids are doing it. The process takes place in a spa-type-place. First you are completely waxed. Then the highly-trained Vaginal Accessory Guru applies and arranges crystals above your vagina. Bryce Gruber of TheLuxurySpot.com did it back in 2010 and suddenly my entire facebook wall is covered with her, giving the thumbs up and showing us her sparkly pubes. Watch the following video to see her incredibly enthusiastic experience with this amazing new vaginal enhancement…
Here’s how men feel about it.
It’s a vagina. We don’t need it to be sparkly. We need it to be …a vagina. That is all. As long as we are invited below your panty line, it doesn’t much matter what you have going on there. It is an amazing place where all of our dreams come true. Sure, some guys prefer bald beavers and some prefer a landing strip, but in general as long as your pants are off we are satisfied.
The vagina is arguably the greatest invention ever. They come (haha) in all shapes and sizes, and their sole purpose is to bring people pleasure… and help humans procreate. None of us fully understand it but it’s quite extraordinary. Much like a snowflake, each one is beautiful in a unique way. There is no need for modification. I cannot understand why any woman want her punani look like a cheap denim jacket. There is no need to dip it in glitter, bling it with gold, or even splatter-paint. It’s an amazing place that others can occasionally visit for immense pleasure.
So who are they marketing to?
A. Girls Who Bedazzled Their Backpacks
They should probably learn that there is a difference between school accessories and their genitals. Just because it looked good on your books in high school does not mean it looks cute on your box when you are 25 years old. Just ask the guy who just got a mouthful of crystals trying to go down on you.
B. Women Looking to Get Laid
Imagine. You are having a great night. She seems really incredible. Everything is going great. You end up going home together. She takes off her pants. There are decorations instead of pubic hairs! This is very strange. Do you ask her about it? “Hey, is this for me?” “How did you know we would meet tonight?” “Is it permanent?” “How often do you show people your vagina?” It is probably best not to mention it and proceed as if it’s not there.
C. Women in a Steady Relationship
If you’re dating and having sex regularly there is no need for any extra accessories at all. Your guy does not need any extra incentive. If it makes you feel better about your own body, then go ahead. It’s important for women to feel sexy. Just realize that your man does not care. Unless it is helping him or the activities you share it is a useless addition to the bedroom.
D. Married Women
This would make no sense at all.
Nobody gets to see those vaginas.
… I know what she did last summer.
– John Powers