Have You Ever Had Sex …on Weed?!

John Powers
John Powers

Sex is great.
Marijuana is too.
What do you get when you combine the two? A euphoric orgasm and/or the best cuddle session ever! The recent legalization of America’s favorite plant has made many people question what new sensations they can experience in an enhanced way. Here’s 7 reasons why you should try sex… on weed!

1. Your Senses Are Heightened
Suddenly, your partner blowing a raspberry on your stomach is the most incredible sensation in the world. Every touch feels amazing. Every smell is enhanced. Your intimacy will reach a new level of closeness by experiencing heightened sensory perception together. It’s like having sex on a cloud. Suddenly neither of you care about waking the neighbors or ruining the sheets. You are wrapped up in a green love-bubble and nothing on the outside matters. You can more fully be in the moment and relish every sight and flavor. All five of your senses will enjoy it. You may even break into the 4th dimension. You will find that time becomes elastic. It’s also a miracle cure for physical limitations. The guys that have endurance issues will find that they last longer and the guys who take forever can more easily focus and finish in a timely manner.

2. It’s An Aphrodisiac
Studies show that weed enhances your desire for sexual activity, (not horny goat weed, that’s a sham). There are many different varieties, and each can have a different effect on people, based on their personal body chemistry. Most are known to release pleasure endorphins. The THC activates your brain’s bliss receptors. After you smoke, you are more likely to feel aroused and crave a love-making session with your partner. Smoking will not only enhance your orgasm but it will also enhance the pleasure you feel throughout the experience. It is worth noting that women tend to be more affected by this phenomenon than men. Weed can turn an ordinary Netflix night into an extraordinary home movie shoot. The next time your partner has a headache, suggest herbal medication. Not only will their head feel better, you just may get laid after all. The only downside is dosage. Just like anything else, moderation is important. One joint might make you frisky and excited… three might make you fall asleep with Doritos on your chest.

3. You Have No Inhibitions
When smoking cannabis your self-esteem is elevated and those self-conscious thoughts about your love handles or pot belly go right out the window. You are able to perform more confidently and without the distracting thoughts that can get in the way of a great bedroom session. You are there. Your partner is there. Nothing else matters. Suddenly you are trying new things and getting more excited with every experiment. You lose the need to shower before making love and you end up laying around naked with your partner. Your mind gets creative and remembers that one position you once saw in a Kama Sutra book. You try it and it works! Best sex ever.

4. A Good Cuddle is Everything
It can be tough to get comfortable. Where do I put my arm? Her hair is in my mouth. Stop, that tickles. When you’re stoned none of that matters. You both lay down (collapse) afterward and whatever position you’re in is perfect. Your partner’s leg is crushing your arm but it doesn’t matter at all. You rub closer and squeeze harder. You close your eyes and feel closer to this person than ever before. Suddenly it feels like you are two spoons in a silverware drawer, custom-made to perfectly fit each other’s shape. You can spend hours wrapped in a loving embrace and you may even find yourselves napping together.

5. It’s Better Than Booze
Let’s face it, drunk sex is sloppy. You’re fumbling around and nothing goes as you expect it to. There’s also a chance that one or both of you will pass out before it’s over. They don’t call it “whiskey dick” because booze has beneficial effects on the penis. They call it that when booze gets you down. It’s a bummer. Sex on booze is like… walking on booze. It’s a little crooked and you may stumble a bit. Your coordination is impaired… plus, you probably won’t remember it the next day. Sex on weed can be fuzzy, but everything (typically) works properly and you will most likely remember it the next day.

6. A Post-Coitus Joint Rocks
Forget having a cigarette afterward… have a joint! It’s legal, smoke another! Cigarettes are dirty, smelly and have zero positive effects on your mind or body. I’m not sure why they’re still flying off the shelves. A little weed afterward will keep the buzz going strong and avoid any heavy “we need to talk” conversations. It’s important to keep it light after sex and let the feeling last as long as possible. Instead of talking about whose turn it is to do the dishes, you’ll end up talking about the word “sex.” It’s such a weird word. It’s like s- plus my ex. She was weird, man. Forget her.

7. It’s a Shared Experience
Every relationship benefits from engaging in common interests and activities. Whether you’re a blunt or joint smoker, a blown glass aficionado or a high-tech vapor-lover, getting high is an experience. It’s a form of art. The act of grinding, rolling, packing and blazing is a ritualistic activity that you can both get involved with. We each have our own styles and methods. Sharing them with your partner is a learning experience. You can bond and try each others’ methods and favorite flavors!

The only thing to watch out for is paranoia, but if you’re getting paranoid you’re (most likely) not smoking the right stuff. Find a blend than makes you feel good!

– John Powers

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