Dear Women: Wine Is Not the Answer

Standup Comic John Powers NYC Dear Jp Comedian Advice Sex Column Relationship Dating Love Advisor Counsel
John Powers

There’s been a trend in the past decade or so that is hard to miss – women use wine for everything. Look at any TV show, movie, or Facebook feed and you will see what I mean. The modern female has replaced cigarettes with wine. Tough day at work? No respect from your man? Out of control kids? The answer to all of your problems is… wine.

Looking at all these portrayals of attractive, fun, carefree women… thanks to wine… makes me sick. Wine does not make you more attractive unless the person looking at you is drinking it. It may take the edge off but it does not take your problems away. It distracts you from them.

This is modern oppression, folks. This is the antithesis of feminism. This is society telling you, ladies, that you’re not hip, sexy, smart, or carefree… that you’re not good enough… without wine.

The person writing this is a man. He understands social norms and situational comforts. He has performed standup comedy at every major club in Manhattan and spent many late nights socializing with fans afterwards. Many of those late nights included booze, but guess what? Some did not. There were times when a glass of Sprite fit my mood better than a glass of whiskey. The conversation you hold is more important than the drink.


It’s bad enough we still live in an age where women feel compelled to paint their face and highlight their physique to be taken seriously in the corporate world. Now they also need a glass of wine at every function that calls for it, and some that do not.

These women also feel the need to joke about wine anytime someone may consider them a threat. It’s much harder to be intimidated with someone who is joking about drinking. It takes the edge off the conversation. It’s not exactly self-deprecating, but it certainly puts your audience at ease. “Ah, I can relax and not watch what I say, they are joking about wine!” Not exactly. She is merely playing into the new stereotype. She is either taking advantage of this perception to get your guard down, or she’s incredibly insecure and the wine is the mask behind which she hides her self-determined unworthiness.

I have a solution… be yourself. You’re fine with wine. You’re fine without wine. Do not buy into the fashion. Believe it or not you can respond to any and all of life’s situations without turning to booze for assistance. You are actually more able to think clearly and form coherent sentences without alcohol. The most important thing is to be comfortable with who you are. You do not need a crutch or a social lubrication. You need serenity within yourself.

– John Powers

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