Category Archives: Guy Code

That One Thing Women Do That Drives Men Crazy

Standup Comic John Powers NYC Dear Jp Comedian Advice Sex Column Relationship Dating Love Advisor Counsel
John Powers

There’s something that all women do that makes men crazy.
They walk out of the room while talking. 

Some of the brightest minds in the world today are working hard to pinpoint the cause of this phenomenon. Here’s what they have narrowed it down to…

They Do Not Understand Sound
wavesoundYou see, sound travels in waves. The waves come out of your mouth and move in whatever direction you are facing. Once the wave hits a wall it bounces back. If you go around a corner most of the sound will go with you. If you are speaking to someone, you will get optimal volume delivery to your target if you are in the same room and your mouth is facing their general direction.
Give it a try. You’ll be amazed at the results!

They Think You Will Follow Them
If you are talking to me, I am under no obligation to follow you in order to keep up with the conversation. If it was a dialogue I would follow you into the other room to be sure you heard my response, but your monologue requires no action on my part. Anyone who has studied the art of communicating knows that the emphasis is on the communicator to convey their message effectively to the recipient. The recipient will only follow you into the other room if they are very interested in your content, and hanging on your every word. Unfortunately for you, your Home Depot suggestion list is simply not that interesting.

They Are Multitasking
Nothing says “this conversation is not very important to me” better than multitasking. Doing something else at the same time tells me you do not care enough about the words coming out of your mouth to make them a priority to you. That makes it extra hard for me to rationalize making them a priority to me. Sometimes I’m convinced women don’t even realize they’re guilty of this one. They’re looking at their phone, reading an article about millennials in the workplace, and eating a small bag of pita chips while talking …and yet somehow we are expected to be paying close attention to all the important stuff coming out of their face. My apologies. I’m busy too. These Angry Birds are not going to fling themselves.

They Forgot They Were Talking
Sometimes a woman cannot tell if the words are in her head or being spoken, out loud, to another person. On more than one occasion my wife has held me accountable for something she thought she said, then apologized after realizing she was only thinking it. The reverse can also happen. A woman can be 10 minutes into a conversation and not hear a reply, and still assume that her man is listening. Careful with this one guys, it’s a gray area and whether you hear her or not you can and will be held responsible.

If you’re a man who is dealing with a woman who routinely does this to you, I hope this article has brought some clarity. If you’re a woman and you think your man is losing his hearing… he’s not, we just get tired of listening intently to what you are saying in the other room.

– John Powers


Dear Women: Wine Is Not the Answer

Standup Comic John Powers NYC Dear Jp Comedian Advice Sex Column Relationship Dating Love Advisor Counsel
John Powers

There’s been a trend in the past decade or so that is hard to miss – women use wine for everything. Look at any TV show, movie, or Facebook feed and you will see what I mean. The modern female has replaced cigarettes with wine. Tough day at work? No respect from your man? Out of control kids? The answer to all of your problems is… wine.

Looking at all these portrayals of attractive, fun, carefree women… thanks to wine… makes me sick. Wine does not make you more attractive unless the person looking at you is drinking it. It may take the edge off but it does not take your problems away. It distracts you from them.

This is modern oppression, folks. This is the antithesis of feminism. This is society telling you, ladies, that you’re not hip, sexy, smart, or carefree… that you’re not good enough… without wine.

The person writing this is a man. He understands social norms and situational comforts. He has performed standup comedy at every major club in Manhattan and spent many late nights socializing with fans afterwards. Many of those late nights included booze, but guess what? Some did not. There were times when a glass of Sprite fit my mood better than a glass of whiskey. The conversation you hold is more important than the drink.


It’s bad enough we still live in an age where women feel compelled to paint their face and highlight their physique to be taken seriously in the corporate world. Now they also need a glass of wine at every function that calls for it, and some that do not.

These women also feel the need to joke about wine anytime someone may consider them a threat. It’s much harder to be intimidated with someone who is joking about drinking. It takes the edge off the conversation. It’s not exactly self-deprecating, but it certainly puts your audience at ease. “Ah, I can relax and not watch what I say, they are joking about wine!” Not exactly. She is merely playing into the new stereotype. She is either taking advantage of this perception to get your guard down, or she’s incredibly insecure and the wine is the mask behind which she hides her self-determined unworthiness.

I have a solution… be yourself. You’re fine with wine. You’re fine without wine. Do not buy into the fashion. Believe it or not you can respond to any and all of life’s situations without turning to booze for assistance. You are actually more able to think clearly and form coherent sentences without alcohol. The most important thing is to be comfortable with who you are. You do not need a crutch or a social lubrication. You need serenity within yourself.

– John Powers

Should You Stay Friends with an Ex?

Standup Comic John Powers NYC Dear Jp Comedian Advice Sex Column Relationship Column Dating Love Advisor Counsel Dating Sex Article
John Powers


Shortest blog ever.

You should not stay friends with an ex.

… that’s not enough?
You want more.

Ok, fine.
Although I would generally advise against it, the possibility of having a friendship with an ex depends on your circumstance.

If the breakup was amiable, and you share mutual friends, it would be a good idea to stay polite and respectful. You don’t need to cook each other breakfast, but it might make sense to be nice if you’re going someplace with a group of people. I’m not saying you should be friends… just be nice.

Typically if a relationship ends smoothly and you’re both willing and able to continue being close to each other… there’s a very good chance you’ll end up back in bed. If that’s why you’re trying to stay friends to begin with, then go ahead. It’s important to realize that staying friends can keep old feelings lingering. An important part of moving on is re-framing and compartmentalizing the relationship for what it was. A relationship that ended. If you are trying to keep it ended, then it is in your best interest to avoid this person.

A friendship with an ex is tricky, even under the best of circumstances. Let’s say that you are able to be in the same place at the same time… it will still get awkward when your ex brings a new love interest around. You may be fine with seeing your ex and spending time with mutual friends, but it can leave lingering doubts and lead to unnecessary second-guessing and drama.

I try to be a good friend to my friends, and when they deal with breakups I try to reinforce that they should not stay friends with their ex. It may be hard, but it’s harder to keep a glimmer of hope and find out a year or two later that the easiest thing would have been to move on immediately after the breakup.

Everyone deals with a breakup differently. Some people want to stay Facebook friends, and click “like” on your status once in a while. That’s harmless enough, until the next person you date asks you why someone you were once in love with won’t stop flirting with you. It is simple and easy to cut them out. Stop all communication and prepare yourself to be fully available for a new relationship.

Staying friends can be comfortable. You cannot picture your life without this person… but it is not always in your best interest. If you spent a long time with this person you feel like you want to continue being a part of their life… but that thing you had together is no longer a thing. You need to let it go and seek the company of people who want you around.

There are only certain times that a friendship comes naturally and could actually be beneficial. If you did not date for a very long time and you were already friends, then a friendship afterwards is not only possible, but very likely. If you hooked up a few times and realized it wasn’t a good idea then a friendship is certainly possible.

Each situation is different.
Let me know if you have any questions.

– John Powers