Category Archives: Incompatible

That One Thing Women Do That Drives Men Crazy

Standup Comic John Powers NYC Dear Jp Comedian Advice Sex Column Relationship Dating Love Advisor Counsel
John Powers

There’s something that all women do that makes men crazy.
They walk out of the room while talking. 

Some of the brightest minds in the world today are working hard to pinpoint the cause of this phenomenon. Here’s what they have narrowed it down to…

They Do Not Understand Sound
wavesoundYou see, sound travels in waves. The waves come out of your mouth and move in whatever direction you are facing. Once the wave hits a wall it bounces back. If you go around a corner most of the sound will go with you. If you are speaking to someone, you will get optimal volume delivery to your target if you are in the same room and your mouth is facing their general direction.
Give it a try. You’ll be amazed at the results!

They Think You Will Follow Them
If you are talking to me, I am under no obligation to follow you in order to keep up with the conversation. If it was a dialogue I would follow you into the other room to be sure you heard my response, but your monologue requires no action on my part. Anyone who has studied the art of communicating knows that the emphasis is on the communicator to convey their message effectively to the recipient. The recipient will only follow you into the other room if they are very interested in your content, and hanging on your every word. Unfortunately for you, your Home Depot suggestion list is simply not that interesting.

They Are Multitasking
Nothing says “this conversation is not very important to me” better than multitasking. Doing something else at the same time tells me you do not care enough about the words coming out of your mouth to make them a priority to you. That makes it extra hard for me to rationalize making them a priority to me. Sometimes I’m convinced women don’t even realize they’re guilty of this one. They’re looking at their phone, reading an article about millennials in the workplace, and eating a small bag of pita chips while talking …and yet somehow we are expected to be paying close attention to all the important stuff coming out of their face. My apologies. I’m busy too. These Angry Birds are not going to fling themselves.

They Forgot They Were Talking
Sometimes a woman cannot tell if the words are in her head or being spoken, out loud, to another person. On more than one occasion my wife has held me accountable for something she thought she said, then apologized after realizing she was only thinking it. The reverse can also happen. A woman can be 10 minutes into a conversation and not hear a reply, and still assume that her man is listening. Careful with this one guys, it’s a gray area and whether you hear her or not you can and will be held responsible.

If you’re a man who is dealing with a woman who routinely does this to you, I hope this article has brought some clarity. If you’re a woman and you think your man is losing his hearing… he’s not, we just get tired of listening intently to what you are saying in the other room.

– John Powers


The Peter Pan Man

Standup Comic John Powers NYC Dear Jp Comedian Advice Sex Column Relationship Dating Love Advisor Counsel
John Powers

A friend of mine recently broke up with his girlfriend. She’s been his girlfriend for years but that is all. I’m sure there was a good reason. There’s always a good reason.

…but it led me to reflection. Looking at the boys in the hood, the guys who were teens and 20s the same time I was, I start to get very sad. A majority of them are not married yet. I’d put a guess at 75% unwed. Some of them are dating, but some have all but given up on finding someone.

I’m not sad because my friends are not married. I’m sad because my generation is not doing it right. When I look for something to do on the weekend, in my 30s, in my quiet part of town… I am no longer looking to get shit-faced. I am no longer interested in doing things that could get me arrested. 30-something John wants to have 1 or 2 beers, cook something on the grill, and watch people I love splash around in the pool.


I hear the same stories over and over. The entitled millennial men are looking for Barbie. Not just the beauty beyond belief, they are also looking for the girl with the dream house and the convertible and whatever career her outfit comes with. Their Moms did too much for them and made them feel a bit too special. They think that by being alive, they are entitled to a gorgeous woman who will take care of them in every way as long as they don’t beat her or sleep with anyone else.

Guess what guys… those rules no longer apply. A generation or two ago a man could get by with little to no effort. We are not so lucky. This generation of men is required to chip in. Our women read a lot of articles and have a lot of expectations. You should know how to do your own laundry and how to cook.

We are the product of the divorce boom. We saw our parents split up and we noticed how much happier Mom was after 3 glasses of wine. We saw how Dad’s second wife whipped him into shape better than Mom ever did. We saw our friends’ and cousins’ parents split.

…and realized we don’t have to sacrifice. We don’t need to take no shit. Nothing lasts forever, most marriages fail, and if I can’t be totally head over heels every day, then fuck it.

We are the “fuck it” generation. If something is hard it’s not worth doing. If a relationship becomes work we reactivate our profile. We are not willing to sacrifice or compromise or put someone else’s needs before our own.

I call guys like this the “Peter Pan Man.” They never want to grow up. They want to pretend they are still young, and have fun, and run when a relationship starts to get serious. Their “Mental Age” is not the same as their actual age. They want to be free and play games and stay a kid forever… but that’s just not how it works. If you don’t grow and mature, everything around you does and leaves you in the same place wondering where everyone went.

That, my friends, is why my friends are still dating in their mid- to late-30s. Not because they haven’t met anyone good enough for them, but because they have not been good enough for anyone else. I’m hoping a few of them grow up. I’m getting tired of having strange women in my pool.

– John Powers

The Benefits of Picking Nits

Standup Comic John Powers NYC Dear Jp Comedian Advice Sex Column Relationship Column Dating Love Advisor Counsel Dating Sex Article
John Powers
Nobody is perfect. We all strive to be as good a version of ourselves as we can be. Our chosen partner has the unique ability to assist in this quest. That’s why I’d like to discuss nit-picking. 

We look at people who nit-pick as insatiable problem-finders, too preoccupied with little nuisances to notice the big picture. Maybe the word nitwit has contributed to the negative connotation of nits. A nitwit is another word for an imbecile, or a stupid person. A nit-picker is not a nitwit. It is someone with a great attention to detail and the ability to notice things most people do not. I suggest we look at the term in a new way to better understand the people who pick nits. 

The origins of nit-picking goes back to primates. We have all seen that national geographic video of a gorilla picking bugs off another gorilla’s hair. They were nit-picking. Nits are lice eggs that grow in hair and before modern treatments were available, the only way to get all the nits was to meticulously pick them out one by one. 

Many people in relationships are bothered when they feel their partner is nit-picking. They feel like they can’t do anything right, and their partner will point out any and all shortcomings they can find. What they don’t realize is that this scrutiny to which they are subjected is their partner’s way of attempting to figuratively clean them in a detailed way. I believe it can actually be beneficial to have someone help to find the little things that we can improve upon. 

The stipulation is the receiver of the picking needs to be ready to be picked. If you are “picking on” an unwilling target, they may become offended, and respond with anger or frustration. Nobody likes being informed of their shortcomings or dwell on things they do wrong. An open-minded person, willing to learn about their habits and behaviors could benefit a great deal from a nit-picker. If relayed in small doses, the picking of nits can shed much light on habits or attributes that could be changed for the better. 

If you are living with a nit-picker, tell them when the time is right to share their findings. If you are the picker of nits, wait until your subject turns around and exposes their scalp before digging your fingers in and exploring their details. 
– John Powers